


years spin by

by maybemaybenottt



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gen, Growing Up, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29275794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybemaybenottt/pseuds/maybemaybenottt
Summary: "I won't let anyone hurt you, you're safe with me."Eddie and Christopher, through the years.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	years spin by

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from The Circle Game by Joni Mitchell!
> 
> warning: mentions of death

The first emotion Eddie feels when he holds his newborn son in his arms is love. More love than he has ever felt for anyone in his life. He stares down at the face in his hands, and for one blissful moment, he's completely content. Filled with nothing but pride and happiness as he looks at the tiny person he helped to create.

The second emotion, however, is fear.

It comes along more suddenly than the first, chasing away the warmth that had accompanied it. He cradles Christopher's head with his elbow and is struck by how fragile he is. How easily the world around them could hurt him. In that moment, he makes a promise; to his son, his wife, and to himself. 

He repeats it every night for the remaining days of his leave. Stands over Christopher's crib, watching his delicate chest rise and fall, and whispers; "I won't let anyone hurt you, you're safe with me."

The time comes for him to pack his bags and leave again, and Eddie decides that he'll have to protect him from afar.

That's what he tells himself every day. Memorizes the spiel that had convinced him to enlist in the first place, and goes over it in his head like a mantra. He's providing for his family. Fighting to keep his country safe, and by extension, his son too. Over and over and over.

When he arrives home, it's clear that his wife wasn't quite so convinced. 

He stands in the doorway of the nursery, staring at his son who's not nearly as small as he was before, and realises he doesn't really remember how to hold him. Not without fear of breaking him. And he realises that maybe he needs to add himself to the list of things to keep Christopher safe from.

Then comes the diagnosis. With it, a whole lot more unknowns that Eddie doesn't know how to deal with. He hates problems that don't have clear solutions, hates himself for feeling the need to fix this. Because there's nothing wrong with Christopher, he's just different. But with the military’s mindset of conformity drilled into his brain, he's not sure what to do with different. 

So he reenlists. Tells himself it's for his family; to pay the bills, get Christopher what he needs. He tells his wife the same thing. Again, she's not convinced. He can't blame her -he’s not sure he has convinced himself yet, either.

He tries. Every bullet that whizzes past his ear whispers ‘serve and protect, serve and protect, serve and protect.’

And he does. He serves his country, protects himself, and his crewmates. He even gets a medal for it and gets sent home, but he almost feels as if he’s more nervous to walk back into that house than he was to leave for Afghanistan in the first place. 

Christopher is huge now, the contrast to the newborn he once held in his arms striking, especially after so much time away. He looks down at the little boy, then up at his mother who looks more broken than ever before, and realises he doesn’t recognise them. His own family are strangers to him, and it adds onto the pile of things he doesn’t know how to handle.

Then Shannon leaves. He looks around at his life, his house that suddenly feels a whole lot bigger, and finally at his son who no longer has a mother to care for him, and realises that every failed attempt to shield him from the ugliness of the world had only made things worse. 

He makes a new promise that morning. Doesn’t say it out loud this time, but he thinks it. Memorizes it. 

“I won’t ever let myself hurt you again.”

He takes every step he can to make sure he keeps this one. 

-

He straps his son into the car and drives to Los Angeles. 

He finds himself a job, Christopher a new school, and a support system of friends and family who help him through every obstacle.

They start to build a new life together, just the two of them.

-

Shannon arrives on his doorstep.

She looks at pictures of Christopher and asks to see him. Asks again, and again, and again. Eventually, he agrees.

They start to navigate life together again, the three of them.

-

The 118 is called to a car accident. 

For a moment, time stops. His feet carry him forward, but nothing else around him seems to move as he approaches his wife’s failing body. 

“Get in there and say goodbye to your wife.”

He does. It’s not the first time he’s done so. But this time, it’s final.

Christopher waits for him on the front porch. He hugs him tighter than ever, tells him the news, and reminds him that they still have each other. 

They rebuild themselves together, piece by piece.

-

The night before Christopher’s middle school graduation, Eddie stands in the doorway of his son’s bedroom, watching him lay out his outfit for the ceremony on his bed. A swirl of feelings fills his chest as he stands there, the main one being pride. His son, the valedictorian, getting ready for his big day. He’d been a bit surprised when Chris came home with the news, but it was the best kind of surprise. The surprise that came with the knowledge that even after everything the two of them had been through, his son had excelled. Top of his class. And though it still shocks him to admit, he’d played a part in that. Helped guide him each step of the way, and they'd made it to the finish line.

Well, one of many finish lines, he reminds himself. Still loads more to go.

It’s a reassuring thought.

Because even the immense pride he feels comes with a twinge of sadness, knowing that his son is getting older with each passing day. It’s moments like this where he wishes he could stop time, just for a little while. Just to have a few more minutes with his kid before things change too drastically. 

But he can’t. He knows that. And he’s learnt from experience that you can’t run from change, so he embraces it. Continues to enjoy each moment of their life together, and tries not to weigh it down with nostalgia.

He steps into the room to help Christopher hang his outfit back in the closet before hugging him goodnight. 

“Night, Chris.” He runs a hand through his hair, smiling, before adding; “I’m so proud of you.”

Chris just smiles. “I love you, Dad.”

“Love you too.”

-

The next day, a few minutes before the ceremony, Eddie gives Christopher one last hug at the front door of the banquet hall.

“You sure you’re not too nervous about that speech?” He asks.

Chris shakes his head. “Nope, I’ll be okay.” Then, he adds, “You taught me how to be brave.”

Eddie feels his eyes water at that, but he blinks them away, trying not to embarrass Christopher in front of his friends. He squeezes his son’s shoulder, thinking back to every moment their life together taught him something new. He thinks about every moment that he was thrown into the unknown, and had no choice but to figure it out and move forward; thinks about the fact that throughout it all, he had a smiling face looking up to him, helping him through every challenge, and encouraging him out the other side.

He blinks again, smiling. 

“You taught me how to be brave, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> [come find me on tumblr! @deareddie](https://deareddie.tumblr.com/)


End file.
